Embrace the contradictions.

Jack recently shared a very relatable struggle he was feeling. It went something like: “Mommy, I want to. And I don’t want to.”

This time, it was about Legos: “Well I really want to build the car, and it’s really hard and I have a lot more pages and pieces to get through. So I also don’t want to build it.”

It makes me smile each time he explains his very serious dilemmas. It also got me thinking how that never really goes away no matter our age, or how legitimately serious our decisions become. We want to build a Lego set, and we don’t want to patiently focus. We want to start a business, and we don’t want to take the risk it requires of us. We want great relationships, and we don’t feel like putting in the effort needed. The list goes on.

When faced with these decisions, it can feel like the world is binary: yes or no, all or nothing. It’s as if we choose a path. Then, whatever we decide becomes who we are or what we build (Lego sets or otherwise).

What is there is an in between? Perhaps something more like yin and yang, where we embrace that contradictory feelings are part of what it means to be alive. We just have to find our balance between the two.  

We are drawn to comfort and challenges. Legos are so popular thanks to the very challenge we face to build them. They also have suggested age ranges. Jack and I stick to the 6-8+ age range. Anything less would be arguably boring, and anything more would be too much. We will move up to the next level when we are ready.

The same goes for our choices in our life. Say yes because it makes you uncomfortable, pushes you past your edges, and well, because you really want it. Also, know your needs and limits, and set boundaries (i.e., say no) as necessary.

The tension between what we want and the discomfort we are willing to face for that thing, is where we grow. Striking the balance between the two is where we find peace.