More than one can be true.

"So he's actually a good guy?" my (almost) seven-year-old Jack asked tentatively. He was sitting on the couch watching a behind-the-scenes video to make sense of Sloth's scary appearance in The Goonies. It was in that moment where he realized an important life lesson that two opposing things can be true. In this case: yes, Sloth is pretty scary (way scarier than I remembered, Jack!) Also, who doesn't love this guy?

I had decided it was time for Jack to experience The Goonies just before our trip to Astoria and Cannon Beach, Oregon where iconic scenes in the movie were filmed. Jack was into it. Well, until that scene where we all see Sloth for the first time - chained up in a basement, making strange sounds, and turning to the camera with his deformed face. Yes, Sloth is scary as hell at times. And yes, I questioned my parenting judgement in that moment (and let's be honest, a lot of moments). But Sloth is also  a really good guy who loves Baby Ruth candy bars, and even saves the day. I spent my entire childhood quoting Ruth, Baby Ruth! with my dad. Sloth deserved to be understood.

Going back to that moment when I told Jack the spoiler that Sloth saves the day and showed him videos of the actor getting all the makeup on, I saw Jack’s perspective shift. His face softened, and a little light seemed to come on in his eyes. In that instant, Jack had the realization that two seemingly opposite truths could coexist. Sloth can be scary and he’s one of the good guys.

It got me thinking about other confusing appearances. Like this weekend when we got back from our Cannon Beach road trip and began unpacking the car. I got very frustrated, ok angry, with Jack upon finding sparkled silly putty smeared into the leather seats of our almost new SUV. Jack's immediate response: "It wasn't my fault, Mommy!" He was looking at me with tears flowing from his eyes. I softened and explained to him that I can be disappointed, and also be ok knowing that mistakes happen. I said: "You can both be a great kid, and you make mistakes. We own our mistakes and we just clean it up and learn." Jack's face softened (and mine probably did too) at that moment. His tears dried and we both got to work cleaning the silly putty together (though I've already accepted those sparkles are now part of our family car forever!). 

Here in the Pacific Northwest, it's now technically spring, yet the cold rain feels like winter. But look closer… daffodils are blooming despite the chill and today, I saw my tulips opening up. It can be rainy and terrible outside - but I'm also loving every bit of this season already. Yes this weather sucks right now and spring really is here!

These contradictions appear throughout life. Just like Jack saw Sloth differently once he understood more, we all need moments where we look past what's immediately visible. The whole story, whether in movies, seasons, parenting moments, or much more won't necessarily be evident at first glance. What appears scary might be kind. What feels like winter might be spring in disguise. What is sparkled silly putty all over your leather seats can be a profound teachable moment about responsibility.

The whole truth isn’t necessarily what we see or feel on the surface. Perhaps the most meaningful truths are the ones we discover when we're brave enough to take a moment, pause, and look deeper. More often than not, more than one can be true.