You are worth it.

It’s that time of year when kids and adults are preparing their valentines—little gestures meant to show care. It got me thinking about one Valentine's Day, when I received a gift I didn’t expect:

An empty box of candy hearts. Still sealed. Still packaged. But completely hollow.

I laughed the situation off in the moment. It made sense. He tried. He's busy. No big deal. Let it go.

Here’s what had happened: my boyfriend had grabbed a bunch of those candy heart boxes - enough to give one to me and each of our kids. But one came flawed (a factory mistake) from the store. So he decided to lay the empty one at my place setting. 

It made sense. Of course the kiddos should have the ones with actual candy inside. I would have done the same thing (ok, maybe I just would have tossed the empty box but that’s not the point). Deep down though, it hurt. We had been struggling with balance as two single parents trying to make a relationship work. He had built an incredibly busy life around his kids. It left little space for Jack and me. It felt like we were invited to the metaphorical table but consistently given that seat where your knee is bumping the pole. It wasn’t an actual seat at the table - it was an attempt to make space that wasn’t really meant to be there.

So that empty box—whether he meant it or not—reflected a truth about our relationship I hadn’t yet admitted to myself: I was accepting less than I deserved.

Maybe we’ve all had our own version of this story. How often do we all accept metaphorical empty boxes of hearts in our lives - whether in relationships, friendships, or even how we show up for ourselves? 

Like accepting an empty box of candy hearts, we settle for relationships that are sweet on the outside, but lack the substance needed to sustain meaningful connection. We tell ourselves it’s okay or enough, when deep down, we crave more. 

Like accepting an empty box of candy hearts, we may stay quiet about unspoken needs or expectations. We neglect ourselves and each other, leaving a feeling of emptiness we can’t quite understand. 

You deserve more than the appearance of love, care, or connection. You deserve the real thing—in every part of your life.

Bottom line: It’s not selfish to want a love that feels full. It’s not unreasonable to expect reciprocal effort, consistency, and presence. In fact, it's foundational for real connection and love to grow.

Your worth isn’t tied to anyone else’s ability to show up for you.

You are absolutely worth a full f*cking box of hearts—and then some.